We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
