I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
