Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
