i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
