We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
