I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I'm always down for nudity.
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