if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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