What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
