whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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