This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize