i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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