dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Randomize
