fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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