Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
