i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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