Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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