Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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