She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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