yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
