in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
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