So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
