I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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