i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
