Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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