ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
