He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize