Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
We left the knife in your bed.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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