I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
