I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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