now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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