I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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