I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
