I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Terrible idea I love it
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
