:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
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