i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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