honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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