Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
