white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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