No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
