i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize