At least make sure they are 18
Why
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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