Fine. I'll sleep in my office
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
