So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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