I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
