Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
