i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize
