Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
