Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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