My hand turned me down
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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