mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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