She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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