as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
