I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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