My hair reeks of homosexuality.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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