she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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