is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
