I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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