Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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