even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize