Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
