Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
