literally had 100 drinks last night.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
