i was rollin on her like bob the builder
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
meet me or not, i'm out of control
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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