I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
