the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
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