oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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