FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
