I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Can vaginas get frostbite?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Randomize
