She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Everyone says I win the strip club
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
