ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
